Tonight, I wait for something. What am I waiting for? Nothing and anything that will make everything all right. However, there is nothing with the power to do this. There is nothing that will take away the silence left by mum's death and absence. Only she can fill that space, and she is gone forever. I wait for something to make me smile again. However, there is nothing that can ignite my mood that would cause my lack of affect to become a grin. Only she had that ability, and she is gone forever. So I wait for nothing, and nothing is what I get and I expect nothing else.